Weightiness

Glory is one of my favorite words in the whole Bible. This is partially because I love the sound of the Hebrew and Greek words that “glory” translates, but also because I love the concept of the heaviness of God’s presence, the absolute majesty of His character. These last weeks I have been experiencing this heaviness in ways I have never felt before. It is as if I can sense His presence wherever I am, settled on my shoulders, wrapped around me in an embrace. It’s amazing and it’s terrifying at the same time. I have felt the weightiness of the privilege it is to teach His word and weightiness of the honor that He has placed certain people in my life with a very specific purpose. I have felt this amazing weightiness that is not at all oppressive or burdensome, but just tangible and true. I have felt His glory.

But then, today, I experienced weightiness of another sort. The kind that drags you down like an anchor to the ocean floor and makes you feel as if you’re drowning. The weightiness of an overpacked schedule and self-imposed perfectionist standards. The kind that tears down instead of supports. It was something that I have experienced through most of my life, but I am no longer willing to accept it. Not in face of the true and beautiful weight of the Lord’s presence in my life.

Jesus is not a burden but a delight and we should be walking in freedom and in truth. So I ask you. Right now, that weightiness that you feel? Is it building up or tearing you down? Is it giving you life or is it causing a slow decaying death? Is it pulling you closer to Jesus or further away?

Today I admitted that I couldn’t do it all and that I vastly preferred relying on His presence rather than reveling in my own perfectionism. And so I asked for help, I delegated, and I quit. And you know what? I didn’t die, people didn’t question my character, and the world didn’t fall apart. Because trading the things of this world for the One that truly matters is never ever a loss. Exchanging the counterfeit for the authentic is never a loss. Choosing life over death is never a loss. Jesus is nothing but the absolute prize and I will settle for nothing less than drawing closer to him each moment of each day.